I have always wanted to be the person who spends the whole year looking forward to the holidays. Having divorced parents and living far away from most of my extended family has made that hard for me growing up. There have always been more people that I want to see, and more things that I want to do. However, every four years, my typical longings aren’t the biggest downside to the holidays, and the usual warm environment at my family celebrations start to feel more like a facade. It’s no secret that politics can divide families and friends, and as I have gotten older I have begun to understand why. No matter how hard my family tries to shove everything down, if there is tension, it will spill over around the holidays. Between everyone pretending that they all agree with each other and saying “It’s just politics” around the grandkids, I had never seen how this divide affects my holiday celebrations until now. I’ve spent the past few years growing into my seat at the adult table, mostly observing the forced interactions between immediate families and generations. Besides the uncomfortable hugs and shallow questions, everyone always seems like they are walking around

mindlessly checking items off a to-do list. Say hi to great uncle… check. Catch up with cousin on how college is going… check. Smile politely…check. Keep the peace…check. But I couldn’t help but wonder, what is the point of putting on this show every year? Why waste your time and energy holding back on your morals to make everyone comfortable? Especially during major conflicts such as elections, when your morals and values seem like all you have. Just because it’s a special occasion doesn’t mean we disagree any less. To be honest, I can’t say I’ve always wondered this. I have never really been opposed to the idea of avoiding politics as a topic of conversation until the most recent election. At Thanksgiving, I could tell how hard everyone was trying to avoid the elephant in the room. When the never-ending football game would cut to a commercial or a brief news break, everyone would quiet down and try their hardest not to make eye contact. No matter the conversation, the topic of the election was hanging over my shoulders and weighing me down with anxiety. I was tired of trying to tell myself that it was “just politics,” because to me, it simply was not. This election was an incredibly big deal to me. It was more than a change in gas prices and interest rates, it was a matter of my future and my rights, and it felt like my whole world. For the first time in my life, I completely gave up on absorbing the discomfort of my relatives, who had no regard for my comfort when they voted against my basic human rights. With Christmas coming up, I have no intention of protecting anyone’s solace except for my own. I want to spend my last few holidays as a kid honoring what I believe. I want to set new standards, even if that means there will be more to debrief on the car rides home. I want to give real hugs and smiles, the kind of smiles that come from laughter and nostalgia. This Christmas I will be seeing the same people that I see every holiday, but this year I think a lot of them will meet me for the first time.