One individual in this story has been granted anonymity to protect their identity. This story discusses topics such as drug and alcohol use. Reader discretion is advised.

She knew she was probably addicted. She never went without it, but told herself she could stop anytime she wanted. 

At least, that’s what she thought — until Florida.

That was the first time Riley truly felt what it meant to go without it.

They were traveling to see family. Although she knew you could bring a vape on a plane without TSA bothering you, it felt risky. What if she accidentally left water in her bag, and when her bag was searched, her parents saw the vape? The thought scared her, so she decided not to bring it. After all, it’s only two weeks.

When she finally settled in her plane seat, it had been about seven hours since she had last hit her vape.

It had been a good day. She always felt comfortable on planes.

But as she sat there, she began to feel an overwhelming sense of panic. She could hear every word spoken around her, every footstep, every slam of the overhead bins. She could feel the seatbelt tight around her waist, her knees cramped against the seat in front of her and the constant brush of a neighboring elbow touching hers. 

She felt irritated and upset, like she was about to snap. She looked out the tiny plane window and felt a desperate need to escape. But there were no ways out. She was trapped in the sky with 381 strangers.

She had dealt with anxiety in the past. She knew the feeling. But she hadn’t struggled with severe anxiety in years. It was jarring to experience that again for what felt like no reason.  

But that’s when she realized there was a reason. One that scared her a little. 

She had become dependent on nicotine.

_________

Riley’s parents, like most, always told her never to drink or do drugs. But of course, like most, Riley did anyway. 

In seventh grade, she would gag as she tried to choke down a shot of three parts lemonade, one part vodka, in her friend’s basement. 

They didn’t do it to get drunk, and they certainly didn’t do it because they liked the taste. They did it because they knew they weren’t supposed to, and that’s what made it exciting.

“I think initially I did it to be rebellious,” Riley said. “It’s like, whatever you tell me not to do, I’m going to want to do. You tell me not to press that button. I’m gonna go press that button just because you said so.”

The urge to rebel and try new things during teenage years is not an experience isolated to Riley. During adolescence, the brain undergoes developmental changes related to identity formation and reward processing. These chemical changes are crucial in pushing young people to find a sense of self, according to the UCLA Center for the Developing Adolescent (UCLA CDA). 

Social worker Kristen Sesti has helped many students work through issues of substance use. She says this biological drive can make teens especially susceptible to addiction. 

“Being a young person, you, more than [in] any other phase of life, are discovering who you are,” Sesti said. “So you’re really vulnerable to trying things. You’re trying everything. You’re trying hot tools for your hair, sports, clubs, finding new people. Why wouldn’t substances be something that you would try?”

The UCLA CDA stated that adolescent brains release more dopamine compared to children or adults. So when decisions have a positive outcome, teens feel more rewarding feelings than other age groups. This makes them more willing to take risks if there’s a potential for reward. 

Sesti sees this impulsivity through her professional work, but also in her own days of adolescence. She recalls her experience as a teenager and how it felt to be constantly searching for acceptance.

“All we wanted was not to be rejected,” Sesti said. “So often we [would] go along with something that, at the time, felt like a short-term solution to acceptance. Teenagers are also not super great at weighing the gravity of long-term consequences. And so what really is the risk? It’s hard to acknowledge a risk like that when you’re 15, 16, 17 years old.”

Teens’ increased temptation to try things, combined with their predisposition to addiction, has made them the perfect target for a rising $22 billion vape industry.

Unlike traditional tobacco products, vapes lack the same federal regulation, opening the doors for marketing strategies that wouldn’t typically be allowed. 

“When you see Nerds flavored vapes–they’re not targeting a 35-year-old,” Principal Ashley Schwarzbeck said. “That is targeted directly at teenagers. Those are the things that are really hard to combat, because they’re macro things that are happening across the country.”

A CDC report on the National Youth Tobacco Survey in 2022 found that the availability of flavored vapes is among the top 10 reasons teens report ever trying an e-cigarette. Tobacco companies also aim to place vaping ads in media where other tobacco products are banned and use manipulative tactics to strategically attract young consumers.

“They do millions and billions of dollars of research to figure out how to get young people hooked as early as possible,” Sesti said. “This media machine and these tobacco companies are working to make sure that you stay hooked.”

According to the CDC, the nicotine content of e-cigarettes has increased over time. 

Ten years ago, vapes contained about 20 cigarettes’ worth of nicotine. Today, vape cartridges can have the nicotine content of over 600 cigarettes, as found by the UCSF Center for Tobacco Control Research and Education. 

The two most common vape brands used by youth are Breeze and Elf Bar, per the FDA. A typical Breeze contains a concentration of 50mg/mL of nicotine. For reference, all countries in the European Union and UK have a maximum legal nicotine concentration for e-liquids of 20mg/mL, making a Breeze 2.5 times more potent than most maximum regulations overseas. 

The United States has no federal limit on nicotine concentration.

In March 2022, products with a nicotine strength of five percent or more made up 81 percent of e-cigarette sales in the United States. Additionally, as high-nicotine products have become cheaper, low-nicotine products have increased or stayed the same in price, as stated by the CDC.

“I don’t know how an entire generation of people resists such a large-scale, targeted campaign,” Sesti said. 

________________________________

“There’s this story in my family. It’s about my grandpa,” Riley said. “When he was in the military during World War II, another soldier offered him a cigarette. He took one puff, and knew he ‘I shouldn’t be doing this’ so he threw it on the ground and stamped it out with his foot. He never smoked a cigarette again, and my dad’s never smoked a cigarette either. That was a very admirable thing. Everyone in my family would always tell that story.”

When Riley first tried a vape, all that came to her mind was the image of her grandpa, stomping a cigarette out on the ground. 

“I was so upset at myself after,” Riley said. “I barely even inhaled. This is one of the only times I’ve experienced peer pressure.”

She never picked up a vape again until she got to high school. She had been given a Breeze by her friend and wanted to try it.

“I was curious, like ‘Why do people like this so much?’” Riley said. “At first, I didn’t even like the feeling. It felt like a head rush or buzz.  But once you get that chemical in your body, it’s not even about the feeling of it anymore. It’s just like, ‘I need this.’”

Nicotine works by triggering a release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that is essential for positive reinforcement retention. AP Psychology teacher Jade Bennett explains that once your brain makes an association, especially one that causes a dopamine release, it’s not something that can be easily forgotten.

“Addiction is a form of learning,” Bennett said. “The brain learns that there will be a rewarding feeling that follows the use of a specific substance. Oftentimes, that drive to feel that rewarding feeling will overpower the part of the brain that’s responsible for logical thinking, which can result in powerful cravings for the substance.”

Nowadays, Riley takes a few hits of her vape every hour. She always keeps it with her. The best way she can describe what it’s like to go without it is the feeling of constant discomfort.

“Imagine you come home from school and you take off your uncomfortable shoes and socks you’ve been wearing all day,” Riley said. “It’s this comforting relief of finally coming home and being able to relax.”

Along with neurological factors, societal views also worsen the problem. Riley feels that when the topic of vaping or addiction is brought up, it’s either overlooked or met with judgment. In her eyes, she sees two groups of people: those who participate but fail to recognize when substance use starts to become concerning and those who blatantly judge someone who might try substances in the first place. 

“But nobody wonders if they’re okay,” Riley said. “Did you ever think there may be a reason why they are doing these substances excessively?”

Sesti has found that students who are sent to her for substance use issues struggle with much more than just addiction. Often, there are a multitude of underlying reasons causing the need to use. Whether that be not having a supportive home life or existing mental health conditions, Sesti works to address the problem. 

“What was the timeline?” Sesti said. “How did it start? Where are we now? How are you going to get through the school day? How are you going to repair relationships? How motivated are you to re-engage in class?” 

Schwarzbek and Associate Principal Jeff Lampi also work to combat this concern. While students who are discovered to be using a substance during school hours or events will face consequences, such as in-school suspension and being unable to participate in sporting events, the pair also recognizes that the most effective way to stop the problem is to address the cause. 

“Consequencing the behavior is not as important as figuring out what the root of it is,” Schwarzbek said. “We try to provide appropriate therapy or resources to that student so they don’t feel like they need that substance in order to get through their day.”

With the rise of vapes, it has become increasingly hard to shield students from harmful substances. Unlike cigarettes or marijuana products, vapes don’t leave a cloud of smoke or a distinct smell, making them difficult to track.

“It’s so hard to stay ahead of what society brings,” Lampi said. “When I was in high school in the 90s, kids were smoking cigarettes in the bathrooms. But now you’ve got this highly accessible, fruity-flavored vapor that leaves little trace.”

Despite the unavoidable challenges students must navigate today, Lampi and Schwarzbek are doing their best to get students the support they need. The health clinic, slated to open in October, will not only have a medical provider but also a mental health professional.

“For things like addiction, if there needs to be medication involved, or referral to other substance abuse counseling, we don’t have the resources to provide that,” Schwarzbek said. “But the school-based health clinic, which will be through U of M Sparrow, will have some of those abilities.”

———————

Growing up, Riley always thought she would never be one of those kids who vapes. But she, along with many of her peers, finds the need to continue too hard to resist. 

“When someone is addicted, the substance is the only way they are able to feel normal,” Bennett said. “There is this ‘mental pull,’ which may be intrusive thoughts, difficulty focusing on anything else or restlessness until the urge is satisfied. People also feel physical tension in the body, jitteriness or a gnawing sensation—like hunger—that feels eased only by using.”

Bennett still believes there is a negative stigma surrounding addiction. While some acknowledge addiction as a disease, many feel that those who are suffering should have known better. To them, a user’s condition is entirely their fault. 

“It’s important that before taking a stance either way, people educate themselves,” Bennett said. “Understanding brain chemistry allowed me to have a lot more empathy for those experiencing it. Knowing other people who have been willing to share their stories about addiction has also helped me understand on a more human level.”

Once the addiction sets in, especially during adolescence, it can be incredibly difficult to reverse. Sesti sees firsthand how hard it is for young people to break out of harmful patterns, even when they want to.

“Many people have issues that they don’t like, but aren’t yet willing to do the work to fix it,” Sesti said. “That can be a lot of things. Like, ‘I don’t want to be failing my class, but I also don’t really want to put in the effort to prevent that from happening because the cost-benefit right now is not enough for me.’”

All Sesti can do is try to highlight areas that students may have been ignoring. 

Maybe their addiction has been costing them a lot of money. 

Maybe they had a falling out with their best friend. 

Maybe their sports performance has gone down. 

She reminds them that all the consequences really aren’t so minimal.

“The truth is, whoever you talk to, wherever you go, whatever the issue, you can’t force somebody to change who doesn’t want to,” Sesti said.

And despite her best efforts, Sesti knows that most people she helps won’t quit.

“I always believed vaping was stupid,” Riley said. “Now I’m addicted to vaping, and I still think it’s stupid. You’re destroying your lungs and getting addicted for no reason. 

“But I’m in too deep now. I know I could quit. I have everything in my power to quit. But I just don’t have the will to.”